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12 Minutes of Infinity

by Mees van der Smagt Ensemble

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    This CD cover has been made by hand, exclusively using the original posters for the 12 Minutes of Infinity concerts as the source material.

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1.
The Ending 03:59
2.
Denial 04:46
lyrics
You have to believe me! You can trust in what I say! You have to believe me! Why don’t you believe me? Your eyes will never be laid upon another face again Close your eyes! Close your eyes to finally open them Your eyes have seen the world for the last time The colours of the skies, your mothers smile The inside of your eyelids Trembles have finally left your body, your hands Your fingers will not impose silence on your lips again No more itch! No more touch will ever waken your skin Your hands are resting gently beside you Knowing what they’ve done, knowing what’s to come Awaiting rigor mortis
3.
Anger 05:00
lyrics
My hands are tied! There’s nothing I can do for you anymore! I kept on waving and waving, and waving and waving until I dislocated my shoulders But you never watched! I never got your attention It makes no sense to get mad at me! My arms are tired I kept on holding you, and I won’t stop anytime soon! I had to hold you down, embrace you, until you finally calmed down a little bit But you kicked me and hit me! Hurt me and pinched me, bit me! I need you to calm the fuck down! It makes no sense to get mad at me Your anger doesn’t solve anything I didn’t want any of this either But it is my fate to push along yours You’re not special This happens to everyone I’m not either Once I am all worn down My time will have come too
4.
Bargaining 04:31
lyrics
What if you had listened to me? What if you had taken better care of yourself? What if you had wasted less time? What if you had been a better person? What if you had eaten more healthy? Drank less alchohol? What if you had spent less time on your phone? What if you had loved more people? What if you had watched less TV? Been more active? Spent more time with your loved ones? Worked less hard? What if you had called your parents more? Lived your own life? None of it matters We have known this day would come You took my hand to let go in the end You breathe in to breathe out You opened your eyes to lay them to rest at night You welcome people to kiss them goodbye You were born to... What if you had been a better friend? What if you had taken more time for yourself? What if you had been more honest? What if you had had more courage? What if you had expressed your feelings? Been more adventurous? What if you had spent more time making music? What if you had been more loving? What if you had made your own choices? Been more grateful? Stayed more true to yourself? Been less afraid? What if you had let yourself be happier? Been more patient? None of it matters We have known this day would arrive Even the sun can’t push away the night The moon dreads the sunrise Still every time night makes place for morning light Beginnings and endings are bound by the time You were born to die
5.
Depression 05:48
lyrics
Do you remember that night? Do you remember their innocent faces resting in your lap? All the cares in the world, drifted away Do you remember that night? Do you remember their eyelids covering up their sore red eyes? Do you remember holding back while you put them to bed? Do you remember watching them sleep, careful not to wake them? Do you remember staring at the ceiling, as time slowed down infinitely? Do you remember staring at the wall, as dawn’s misplaced colours came along? Do you remember the wetness of your pillow? The only remnant of your sadness, as you showered your tears away Do you remember that night? I need you I need you to be as strong now I need you to stay strong now For you For them For me
6.
Acceptance 07:50
lyrics
Soon you will open your eyes And lay them on a new dawn The sky will light up to welcome you Feel the white sand between your toes The waves brushing off your feet Feel the sun on your pale skin Blood rushing through your veins Colour returning to your cheek Lips making up for a kiss I’ll be right here behind you You don’t have to look back I’ll be right be your side, don’t question me I’ve walked this road a billion times, it always ends the same You don’t have to be afraid on this journey Let my voice lead the way Though the end is closing in You’ll never be alone Nothing stands the test of time Time heals all wounds but mine While time goes drifting by It’s just a matter of time Before there will be no time left
7.
Requiem for Finity 12:19
lyrics
What if when the end comes Time takes time away?

about

Did you know that after your death your brain can remain active for up to 12 minutes?
12 Minutes of Infinity tells the story of someone who has just died, and goes through the five stages of grief in the few minutes after their death. This narrative composition by Mees van der Smagt researches the relationship that humans have with their own mortality, and how they cope with death.

credits

released October 21, 2022

Vocals - Mees van Driel van Wageningen
Violin - Wouter Torringa
Cello - Reinout de Vey-Mestdagh
Piano - Mees van der Smagt

Composed by Mees van der Smagt
Recorded by Thomas Cochrane
Mixed and mastered by Martijn Vink
Artwork by Evan Rouschop

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tags

about

Mees van der Smagt image

Mees van der Smagt Utrecht, Netherlands

Mees van der Smagt is a 22 year old composer, pianist, and maker from Utrecht. He makes without compromise, and works from emotion and ratio. This creates a dynamic mix of lyrical, melancholic melodies and fiery, atonal grooves.

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